What started out as an attempt at humor just isn't gonna be. I'm freaked. Didn't think I'd be but I am. Born and raised in New Orleans. Hurricanes are just something we live with. Like tornadoes, earthquakes and snowstorms in other parts of the country, you deal with it. Maybe two days out, you batten down the hatches, make your "special" groceries (water, batteries, sandwich makings and tons of junk food) and set up shop around the tv, watching and waiting. As a child I never once evacuated. Daddy would pull the boat up beside the house, tying ropes to it and running them through an upstairs window to tie it off, he'd board up the windows and Mama would make a pot of red beans and stock up on spam. Marrying a man from Mississippi, whose father was a captain in the National Guard and was deployed to the coast immediately after Camille, the word evacuate came into my vocabulary. We've hauled our stuff from the bottom floor to the top, said a prayer, locked the doors and headed for highground quite a few times in our 30 years of marriage. To Monticello, Baton Rouge or once just driving til we couldn't drive anymore and sleeping in the van in a parking lot but always just being gone a night or two and then heading home. It's just what we do being from here, it's worth it, always has been, this is home and everybody, from everywhere has a some price to pay. Until....until until until. Now is different. Now I'm scared. It's not fear for the house or the belongings, it's fear of the heartache and grief that came our way 3 years ago, the hurt that still lingers. Yesterday I talked about the tattoo that I want. The one that will be my symbol when I personally conquer the aftermath of Aug'05. I was feeling like I was getting there, thinking when Mampi comes home in December. Now here I sit, hands shaking, tears filling my eyes, I'm not as far down the road as I thought. Jim called an hour ago about hotel reservations, I told him I couldn't, he has to. I sit here and know that I should be gathering my pictures, home movies, paperwork, jewelry. I should be standing in line at Economical, getting my Chisesi's ham. Hell, Walgreen's for that fresh new perscription of xanax that I didn't quite know if I was gonna get filled, I know now.
~Just got off the phone with my child, gotta say, she sure knows how to work me. Smacked me upside the head and reminded me that worrying about this, this far in advance could be a good thing, learn from the past, better equipped to handle the future... LOL, guess that means to include the family recipe box when I gather vital family treasures cause this family is always gonna need eggnog and slime and philly delights whenever and wherever we gather, forever and ever, as long as we have each other, we'll be just fine.
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